What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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