Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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