i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
