Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
