I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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