My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
