We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize