Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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