smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Ketchup is God's man juice
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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