I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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