I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
