Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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