god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
