it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
