wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
