: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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