i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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