matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize