Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
