I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
