I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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