no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
