sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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