Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
