if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
