Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
