I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
