Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
