I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize