Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
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