Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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