Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
