Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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