Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
