I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sext me about skeletons
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
