How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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