So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
