I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize