My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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