hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
