I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
