This girl is more easily done than said...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
