I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
