Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
