To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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