You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
my poor anus
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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