i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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