bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize