Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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