I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
