But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
