while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
