Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize