dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I love you. Go after that dick
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
