the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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