The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize