Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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