what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
