I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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