he shaved USA in his pubs
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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