Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Floor bacon is actually really good
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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