Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
