just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
