How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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