im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
