all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
